i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
