the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
