I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
