Umm I'm too high to move.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
