Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
