the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
