Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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