somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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