Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Be still, my beating vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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