What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
