I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
