Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
