That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
