Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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