you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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