Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
