no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think I am morally bankrupt
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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