waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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