New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
