The brown eye won't let me do that either.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
