So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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