I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
