What a fucking waste of an outfit
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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