Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
