I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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