ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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