I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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