hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize