And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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