Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
