Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
