i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize