I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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