Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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