I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
