Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
