No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
