What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
