Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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