I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
