Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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