yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
