I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
