Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
