i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
