Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
