May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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