It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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