I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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