I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
