Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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