my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
