I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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