What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
