Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
