Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
