i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
pray to the hookup gods
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
