Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
