You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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