I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize