Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
