i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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