like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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