Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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