It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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