WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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